Just Say NO... ~ The Americana Kitsch and Culture Tour

Just Say NO... ~ The Americana Kitsch and Culture Tour ~ originally posted 18 Jun 2011    
 

Aloha MM's,   You meet all sorts in an RV park. There is a man here from Idaho who is building a restaurant in the Rockefeller Center—he's been here since March. There's a woman giving a cat a hair cut. Another women walking across the RV park in her sundress and slippahs with hair color in her hair—obviously making for the showers to rinse it off. She has hair color on her skin around her temples and her hair is sticking up like a birds nest but she doesn't care. That woman is me.   You get to the 'who cares' stage pretty quickly when you're on the road.   Today we are parked up in a 'lovely' RV park. Like a car park with electricity and bathrooms! But hey—you can see New York City right across the car park and the river. And along a wee bit in the smog laden haze is the Statue of Liberty, which we can see side on from the RV Car-Park. We are in the heart of Jersey City. Wall to wall cars waiting to go through the Holland Tunnel to NYC under the river. Inches to spare in the RV. It's intense but strangely energizing.     We are close to Hoboken, Jersey and tried to see how busy it was going to be at the famous Carlos Bakery—home of Buddy the Cake Boss. There's a line out the door, down the block, and on the OTHER side of the road! Apparently it's always like this. If you go at 7:30 in the morning, it's much better. 7:30 in the morning...let me think about that for a minute...okay...maybe not. I think we will have to go later at night...like 5 minutes before closing!   Hoboken Baby!     But the whole neighborhood is hopping. It's so alive!!!     And so NEW YORK... Yeah, I know, we're in Jersey, but close enough to call it. It's dingy and packed and busy but somehow that works.   NYC always reminds me of a heavy alcohol laden cocktail. You could have a couple of them but then you'd be done. But you'd enjoy them while they were going down. San Francisco always reminds me of champagne. It's lighter, you could drink several glasses and still be enjoying it.   Despite the intense energy, we are energized by it. I was not energized like this in Boston, so I am fascinated by this perkiness I feel.   We have just come from upstate New York and it couldn't be more different. Upstate New York is extremely rural...EXTREMELY. But very pretty. I rather liked it. I realize that saying no to New England should have been done sooner. The saying no theme resonates through the whole week.   In upstate New York, we parked up about 20 miles out of Buffalo, NY and across the river from Niagara Falls, Canada. We hired a car and off we went to Canada.   I've crossed over a few times, doing this line on a map thing. It feels weird. I remember when my mum was in Europe in 1972, all the countries had border stations and you had to show your passport at each one and get a stamp. Mum was a horrific navigator and obviously my Grandfather was not much better. They managed to go through one checkpoint—three times! Each time, smiling and trying not looking like they were drug runners. The guys on the checkpoint obviously thought it was rather amusing and had a good chuckle every time they saw her again.   The border patrols here are not so amused. A sense of humor is NOT a pre-requisite for the job.   The very first time I crossed the border into Canada. I was living in Michigan and decided to go to Windsor and countryside in Canada for the day. I had not been living in the US for very long and was still a bit leery of it and unsure of myself. We crossed from Detroit over to Windsor in Canada and stopped at border patrol. In those days, the border patrol were slightly less intimidating. But only slightly. He asked the usual border questions and then asked, "Do you have anything to declare?" looking sternly at us.   "No." we said.   "Nothing?" he repeated.   I frantically wracked my brain to think what he was after. Finally I said, "Um. Well, we did buy these sandwiches over there; they're in the back seat."  I didn't know what he was talking about! (I’m from New Zealand, I'm thinking bio-security)  It must have taken him all his effort not to roll his eyes at me.   In a slow measured tone, he said, "No...firearms...are you carrying any firearms...?"  Oh, the light goes on.   "No, no," we shake our heads frantically. “We're New Zealanders, we don't carry firearms."   And he let us go. That must have made the border patrols list of dumbest things anyone has said. LOL.  Later in the day, a guy pulled up beside us and rolled his window down and was gesturing to us. We were terrified but gingerly wound the window down. He was after a light for his cigarette! We just about wet ourselves. Afterwards, we realized that we had both been thinking—gun. A year of living in Michigan and that's where our thoughts went. Scary. It was only afterwards that we realized the different energy between Canada and the US.   In saying this: I don't even think about guns now. It never crosses my mind. And if Janet Evanovich is anything to go by—half of Jersey carries a gun in their handbag. Despite the fact that it's illegal to carry concealed. I.e. If you have a permit, you should have it on your hips in full view. Eww, yeuch... Personally I'd rather be blissfully ignorant, thank you very much! I realize my years of living in the States have inured me to the whole firearms issue. Frightening.   To see the best part of the falls, you really need to be on the Canadian side of the falls. We go across the bridge and there are the border patrol guys for the Canadians. They must have a million zillion people come across here everyday but they ask intimidating questions and not in particularly pleasant tones like-  "What is the purpose of your visit?" 'How much money are you carrying on you?"   "How long do you intend to stay?" "Where do you live in the US?" 'Do you have any firearms to declare?" (obviously after my sandwich answer, they thought they'd better clarify that a bit more for people)  "Have you left your firearm back in your RV?" (this one was a very bizarre question. Did my American passport automatically make me a candidate for a firearm?)  We shake our heads vigorously, we're New Zealanders we proclaim, we don't carry firearms. "Have a nice day," he says; in a barely disguised glare and hands back our passports and Aaron’s green card. Phew.   Welcome to Canada!   The border patrol are the worst part of Canada. The rest of the people are lovely.   You drive off the bridge, turn left and you are at the falls. When we were coming over the bridge, Aaron said, "Oh, they look smaller than I imagined, they're not that big."   As we drive around to the car park. "Wow, they're huge, they're enormous," he enthuses. Perspective is everything.     And it's really hard to explain just how big and powerful these falls are. And the WOW factor of them. They are quite extraordinary!!!   From where you park the car, the two falls, that make up the Niagara Falls collectively and the Niagara River from which they hail from, stretch nearly a mile or more across.   Both sets of falls come from one river, the Niagara. It splits either side to go around a piece of land called Goat Island. On the left are the American Falls and Bridal Veil Falls. On the right, the bigger Horseshoe or Canadian Falls. The American and Bridal Veil Falls are rather special in their own right. At just over a thousand feet across, they're big. And 150,000 US Gallons of water goes across them every SECOND. That's about 600,000 liters.           But they are dwarfed when you put them alongside the Horseshoe Falls. At slightly over two and a half thousand feet around and 600,000 US gallons per second, they outstrip the American Falls. That's about 2,400,000 liters a second... Good god!   It's almost unimaginable. They naturally use this massive turbine of water for hydro-electric power. The power behind the Horseshoe Falls is because there is nothing to stop the water as it comes down the Niagara River tumbling over the edge. Whereas the American Falls are slowed somewhat by Goat Island.    We parked at the far car park and walked the length of both falls. It takes us about 5 hours, along with the trip on the Maid of the Mist boat that goes right up to the Horseshoe Falls. As you walk, you stop and look, click, click stop and look...click, click, click. It’s just so beautiful and mesmerizing. The water is an icy green and very fast flowing. Once you get to the Horseshoe Falls, you start to get spray flying off as the water rushes over. There is so much spray and mist coming off the falls that you can barely get a clear shot of them. My shots came out all ethereal and dreamy like. Rather lovely. And the mist is creating a lovely double rainbow that lasts for ages.       We walk all the way up to the other end where the American Falls are, to go on the Maid of the Mist boat. This will take us up past the American and up to the Horseshoe Falls. You get issued with a blue plastic rain poncho. A few brave/foolhardy people decided not to wear theirs and get thoroughly drenched! We were not up the top but somewhat sheltered on the lower deck and still—it's wet. :-) I got off one shot and then put the camera in Aaron’s jacket pocket. The Fujifilm is tough but not THAT tough. It was like standing in a fairly heavy rain. But so magnificent. You could FEEL the power of the water as it thundered down. Mother Nature at her best. Wowww.         We leave there exhilarated and happy with our decision to come out here and see them.   The next day is a 'do nothing' day. By this, I mean—I have an appointment to get my hair resprung and my toenails painted. Aaron is doing the laundry. His 'do nothing' day doesn't have any relaxation quota to it really.   But then getting my hair done doesn't have much relaxation quota for me either. Getting my hair done, can rate up there with tooth extraction! I have long curly hair which is permed. I've had it this way for nigh on thirty years. I know my hair. It's like barbed wire. Extremely tough. But new hairdressers turn pale and just about faint when I tell them I need the top of it to be resprung. 'But it's got so much curl," they say...   I then have to launch into a full frontal offensive about my hair. "No, it's not, have a good look at it, you can see, it's only on the ends." Then...  have to go through: what it will take, what it does, what rods to use, what size sections to take, what solution to use, what way to roll it, how long to process it for, how long to put it under the dryer for... It's exhausting.   I come out of that feeling like I've just run a marathon. So, when I get a hairdresser that gets it quickly that I'm very used to my hair and know what I'm talking about and god forbid—listens. It's heaven.   I got a wonderful woman called Jessica who talked with me and 'got it.' But there was another woman in the salon who kept coming over to offer 'helpful advice' all the time. I had to keep saying, "No, I don't want that, no, that won't work, no, that isn't what it needs," until I wanted to scream at her and punch her sharply and quickly on the nose.   Now, I'd had a talk with myself before I fronted up to this new salon and told myself that I would stand by my guns on what I needed to have done. I've given in, in the past and been steamrollered and come out with shocking perms that someone else has had to fix.   Lately, thank god, I've had my friend Suzanne in Hawai'i who has been doing my hair.  So, someone new was daunting. Thank god for Jessica. And thanks to the Universe who no matter what, just seems to be looking after me lately and directed me to her! And thanks to myself for saying NO to Ms Bossy Britches, who is very lucky she has an intact nose. I would have come out with a Number One, if she'd had her way!   I realized the next day, that they'd been a kind of theme to the week.   In the morning, I had a couple of things which made me so mad. Mad at myself for not saying no basically. For not standing up for myself. Don't you hate it when you get bulldozed into something or agree to something that really isn't okay?  Or this:   I had rung someone else to do my hair 2 days previously. She finally managed to ring back 2 days later. A day late and a dollar short. "So sorry," she gushed, "I haven't been able to get back to you; it's been so hectic here." I had very specifically told her I needed an appointment that day or the next, when I had rung. Also, it's a business? Getting back to clients should be your number one priority! I said I'd had someone else do my hair. And then I said the dreaded thing I should never have said to someone who had so far given me awful or non-existent service.  "Thanks for ringing me back."   Huh.   She rung me back 2 days late with barely an apology and I'M saying THANKS??! What is wrong with this picture?   What infuriated me is that essentially I didn't say NO. I said it was okay on some level for her to do that, because I said, thanks... Ugh.   I fumed about this and another incident that morning and realized that all week, the Guides had been trying to get something through to me. Say NO.   Voted WORST risotto in the history of dining by Aaron and I. Guess what ~ I said NO. But our customers like it this mushy, they said. E Gawds! It looked like a rice pudding?? Say no to anything you do not want. If you're looking for a 4 bedroom 3 bath house in a Victorian neighborhood. Don't say yes to a 3 bedroom 2 bath house in a new development. Say no. Keep saying no to everything you don't want, even if what is being offered seems like a 'good deal' or a 'good idea.' Don't compromise. If you want a partner in your life who is caring, stop going out with anyone who is not. Start saying no. Because by saying no, the Universe 'gets it.' They will stop putting no options on your path... and start bringing you the yes options, you really do want.   Make a firm decision on what you want and stick to it. Once you are really clear on what you want—the Universe steps up quickly and delivers.  It is often people’s ambiguity that stops them in their tracks. Well, I really want a relationship but I'm fine on my own for the moment. Voila. Your second statement cancels out your first. Your big but will always get in your way. The energy you are now putting out is: I'm fine on my own. And thus it is. Dang. Don't you hate that!   I have been reminded a lot this week about decisions and how the Universe works. Once a firm decision is made, the Universe springs into action. Kapow! And often what you need to do is say NO. As well as say YES.   My twin Donnie this week was having a hard time deciding on two jobs he was going for. I pulled cards for him and it seemed to be clear which one was the one for him. And even listening to his energy, I could tell the second job felt better for him. Then it suddenly clicked for me that half the issue was that HE hadn't made a decision about which job he wanted. The moment he made a firm decision about what he wanted, the job would be there. Sure enough. Voila! He made a firm decision about what he wanted and he now has the right job and the one he really did want all along.   And I realized that I have been doing this too on so many things. As we hiked back across New York State to New York City, I have been mulling over the question, of whether I want to come off the road or not? Or whether I want a house again. I know that once I make the definitive decision, things are all going to go, click, click, click, into place.   And it has to be a decision from the heart, the soul, from your gut, from how you feel. Not a head decision. Nothing is ever achieved with making decisions with your head. If you want things to click and be easy, you have to go with what feels right, what's in your heart essentially.   You have to ask the question:   If money were no object, what would I want to really do?   Once you take the money factor out of an equation—things become very clear. Now stay with that decision. Don't compromise. Just keep saying no to what you don't want and yes to what you do want.   But where will I get the money for that, you ask? It's not your job to know where the money will come from. Your job is to simply make a clear decision and stick with it. If you are following your true desires, all manner of things will conspire to make things happen. I can't even tell you how many times I have seen this in my own life and other peoples.   So—Just say NO.  A decent diner after the hideous Collins Diner in Connecticut. :-)     We said yes to the blackened scallops ~ cooked to perfection. YUMMMMM!! At the awful risotto place! :-)   Darling Aaron with a selection of beverages. :-) He loved his dark beers like Guinness :-)